Are you my mother?

      I woke up this morning with complete insane anxiety ( which I never developed till I had a child). I guess I should start by talking about my situation with Ian's father. As from my intro post, if you couldn't tell Ians father and I didn't know each other , well really at all. Paternity was established on Feb. 1st! Couple days later Rich (the father), was over here playing with his son. It was an amazing instant bond between the two. From the reaction that I got from him when I told him I was pregnant, I never ever expected for him to be such a great, loving dad the last couple weeks. The last couple weeks he has seen Ian almost everyday with me being there of course. We get along perfect and we agreed that for our son we need to.

     Not trying to be a negative Nancy but were in the 2000's , things always don't go the way you want them to. I know situations are going to come up that are going to be complicated. This is where being a single mom but having the "baby daddy" in the picture gets complicated. I laid in bed last night and thought of all the things we could possibly get into it about. The only thing that ran through my head is dating people. I think about there being another women figure in my sons life and want to throw up. It actually drives me insane. There's really nothing else to say about it except it drives me nuts. I don't know what type of girls he dates and the ones I have heard he dates sound like nightmares. Yes...its my EGO but I have the right to feel the way I do.

Where do babies come from?

" You are not able to get pregnant till you lose weight and get healthy" were the words that were repeated to me numerous times by four different endocrinologist. I have to admit since I was told that, I wasn't the carefullest person when it came to being "safe"! When I was thirteen I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism and had my thyroid and 8 goiters removed. Four out of eight goiters that were removed were cancerous. My health has always sucked and I just never really cared about it cause I was young and dumb. I was also diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome ..ehhh just another thing that supposedly wouldn't let me get pregnant.  Well doctors you would think that the eight years of schooling paid off but obviously it didn't.

Anyways I was with a guy for 3 years in love blah blah blah . I was one of the dumb naive girls that thought it was ok to be in love and living with a guy that was continuously cheating on you. Well eventually I learned it wasn't ok and moved out. After the whole back n forth ritual long term couples have of breaking up and getting back together I met a man at a gas station. Classy? Well actually I met his friend who came up to me Christmas Eve 2011 and game me his friends number. Heading out to go to my sisters to hang with the family I call my mom to tell her about the creepy man at the gas station ...her exact words were " throw that number out the window". Yeah OK mom. Five minutes after leaving the gas station I texted this mystery man. We then met a couple days later and hung out for the next month. We usually talked about our wonderful exes and how much they sucked and well did other things .

He eventually got back with Ex and a week later I realized I was late.January 30th my friend Courtney said you're not pregnant lets just go to Ashley's and take a test so you can clear your mind! OK ! I peed on a stick set it down pulled my pants up and it was instant...

That moment I thought my life was over. I thought " there is no way" , " it was only a few times"  ' WHAT AM I GONNA DO?!?!?!?" . Well it was possible and those doctors I've been going to for years were way wrong. I had the most beautiful pregnancy with no complications and the most wonderful supportive family.

You're probably wondering what happened to the dad? Well I cant really speak on that considering the past is the past and things have turned out way better than I have ever expected.


I had a beautiful baby boy Ian Mark Mansour 8lb 7 oz 21 inches September 23rd 2012 at 8:30 AM.